I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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