he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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