Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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