lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
