Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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