I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
