Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She even gives head with a lisp.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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