Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
