how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
