you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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