I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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