tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
