but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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