Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
