So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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