just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
