ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
