so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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