I can tuck mytits in my pants
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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