i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
