Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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