if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The uberlube is also flammable
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
