Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
