Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
