Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
vagina is talking i cant
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
