how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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