1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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