I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
