If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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