Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
