Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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