Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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