Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
