i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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