just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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