Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
