im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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