i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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