Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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