Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize