sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
