Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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