goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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