She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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