We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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