cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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