i think i have herpe
just one?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
