i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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