At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
