Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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