I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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