Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
