you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
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Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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