Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
