But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
