Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
