It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
